The shops are filled with hearts, cards are being sent, cheesy poems are being composed - love is in the air.
For some people this week is a time of excitement and butterflies when they find out they have a secret admirer; for others it’s a reminder that they still haven’t found that significant other and for many of us it’s another way for shops to convince us to part with our money.
Wherever we stand when it comes to Valentine’s, the relationships in our lives are such a significant part of who we are and how we interact with the world around us, so we thought it might be helpful to share a few myth-busters we hope may be helpful at this time of the year.
For those waiting for love…
1. Finding someone will complete our life
Even if we follow Jesus we can feel that not having someone makes us in some way less important when it comes to our faith. The truth is, being single is not a sign of spiritual immaturity, emotional brokenness, physical incompleteness or mental instability in the same way that being in a relationship doesn't make us the opposite of all those things. Neither is better or worse than the other. Jesus is the goal, He is the one who completes us, not a changed relationship status.
2. There is a ‘one’ out there, somewhere
We think that there is one person out there who is destined to be the only person in the world that we could be compatible with and if we miss our opportunity that we’ll be alone forever. It seems crazy to read it out loud doesn’t it? The truth is there are many people out there who we could have a relationship with, some more suitable than others. There is no magical ‘one’. It’s only when we commit and covenant ourselves to a person that they become ‘the one’.
3. The ‘perfect list'
We say things like; “He has to be strong yet sensitive, spiritual yet dangerous, open yet mysterious, be committed to fasting but not skinny”, or “she has to be funny but serious, confident but not overpowering, good looking but not too interested in her appearance, ambitious but selfless” and on and on it goes. The perfect person doesn’t exist and we aren’t perfect either so yes, wait for the right person but don’t forget, we’re all human!
For those who have found love…
4. If we are in the right relationship we will have no issues
Every relationship has two different people, with two different personalities from two different backgrounds. Every relationship will have to find a way to prefer one another and navigate these differences; that’s a part of the process. The more we work on these things together the stronger our relationships will become.
5. Relationships start out exciting but dull after time
The butterflies and emotion at the start were so exciting and we long for the days that they would return as we have settled for a relationship that survives rather than thrives. Unfortunately, this is the reality of many relationships and marriages but it is not the way they were designed to be. The people who are together the longest should be the most excited and the most in love, because they have had the longest to get to know each other, serve each other and build together. If we commit to this, the emotions that we felt in the beginning deepen and become a richer, more beautiful love. This takes commitment, but it is available.
6. We no longer need to make an effort when we’re in a relationship
Often during the dating process grand gestures are made, romantic days and thoughtful gifts are shared but once marriage starts the dance stops. We can never allow this to be the case. The longer we are together the harder we should work to show each other that our love is deeper than ever, that we appreciate them more than ever and that we are prepared to show them that love in any way we can. We must find increasingly creative ways to show our husband/wife that we love them - why don’t we start it today.
This Valentine’s don’t believe the myths but instead embrace the truth. We hope this week is a week where you know that you are loved whether you are single, dating or married. You are special to the one who created you and His love never fails.